The Rebirth

I’ve been on The Island for four weeks now, just shy, and we are ending the first ‘holiday’ phase. The kids start school on Wednesday and it will be splendid to gain routine to our days. It is very easy to drift along when you have no purpose, and our days have been drifting for a few weeks now. Our routine, up until now, has been loosely, writing or paperwork in the morning and then a beach visit in the afternoon. We have been blessed with good weather so we have made the most of it while it lasts, and also it is good to spend some time with the family, which is one of the reasons why we moved here in the first place. But, we are now naturally nearing the end of this cycle, and so the kids starting school is to be a welcome change, and also a wakeup call to get things moving.

It’s sometimes difficult to remember why we’re here in the first place, but to recap, I will state some reminders.

• ·         Spend more time as a family
• ·         Be able to give Sophie more support
• ·         Give Dylan a better lifestyle and upbringing on the beach
• ·         Escape from being dependent upon another person’s decisions
• ·         Create a life that we love, the perfect balance of work and play
• ·         No ceiling on future earnings
• ·         No time wasted on corporate dead days
• ·         MASTER OF OUR OWN DESTINY

We are very fortunate to have the opportunity to be able to do this, and instead of watching that opportunity pass us by, we are living it, now. It feels quite liberating to know that we’ve pushed through the system and are now sitting on the other side of the gates. What we need to make sure now is that we don’t get complacent, the gate is still open and we now have to keep the momentum up, albeit recharged from a rest period, to make sure that we close the gate and set ourselves up on this side.

A conversation that I had this week allowed me to observe how increasingly common it seems for someone in a similar position, and age, to myself to radically change their life. I know of one of my friends who has just relocated to Dubai, another that is ‘throwing away’ a highly qualified position to buy a ski chalet in France and live there whilst running it as a business, and that’s just this month.

I’ve commented before on how times have changed since my parents’ generation, when one had a job for life and the target was always to achieve this and then ride it out, you would be looked after at the end and if prudent along the journey you might have a bit more than just comfortable. The reality of this utopia has now changed. I feel sorry for those of that generation that began their journey with one destination and then sat by helpless as the bus stopped everywhere else but.

The reality of professional life these days is that you are worthless to a large company, you are a commodity that is analysed for value and compared with cheaper, less quality, alternatives all around the world. This is all out of your hands and when the time comes to restructure, guess who’s looked after, not you. People are increasingly taking their lives back into their own hands, and the only way that you can achieve this is by setting up on your own where you are no longer reliant on others.

If you decide that you’re going to do this then you then have two choices; either do what you do but as a consultant, or do something completely different that you’ll love. The people that I’m talking about that our making these changes are often highly qualified, and have spent the last ten years collecting bits of paper like they’re in the Crystal Dome, so the risk of moving out of that field is mitigated by a qualifications safety net. Most people I have discussed this with say the same thing, “if it all goes pear-shaped then I’ll just do what I do now.” The fact is that now people feel empowered to take their life back, and those that are in a privileged position to exploit this, are.

Signs of discontent can be seen all over the country, and the world, at the moment in all demographics. A higher post-retirement age workforce than ever before due to empty promises made thirty years ago, the youth rebelling and feeling completely disassociated due to no real opportunity or guidance to be trained or have a purpose, companies laying off thousands of people for cheaper alternatives overseas, public schoolboy bankers killing the system due to unregulated greed over the last decade, and no connection between any of these groups of people,  a hung Parliament that’s caused by no obvious solution of how to get out of this mess. It feels as if we have now broken IT. Whatever IT was is now no longer worth it.

This situation forces a person to regain control of their life; this is why we’re all here. We’re not born into this world to be a product of a system; we’re here to strive forward, to make a positive impact on others, to become better people and to be happy. As long as we’re blaming others for our own misfortunes then we’ll never achieve any of this. We must take control and if you’re in a position where you can do something about it, then why wouldn’t you? 

The Exodus (Part 4)

“Here it comes,” shouted Mike down the stairs, as he viewed the removals lorry pulling up outside his house, from his vantage point of his bedroom window.

They had been up north for four weeks since leaving the Isle of Wight the last time, and in that period they had been extremely busy. They had crammed in four weddings, three joint leaving do’s, two gigs, numerous leaving drinks with numerous different people, a recording studio session, and the packing of their entire possessions into boxes.

The friends, acquaintances and hangers on that they had said goodbye to reached into the hundreds and the response from them all was overwhelming. Mike and Claire had not appreciated how much people loved them, and how many lives they had touched along the way, and now that it was coming to an end there were a number of emotional moments. However, they had observed that the other people were commonly more emotional and upset than they were, and this was put down to a theory of Mike’s, that the good gentleman will not mind being stated in this journal as he is a subscribing member.

‘Life is about moving. One must move from one place to another, one must meet different people, one must busy themselves with different activities, one must in general experience new stimuli in order to grow and develop and truly live a full life. Each time you try something different it will always feel uncomfortable at first because humans inherently feel comfortable with what they know. This is the defence mechanism that we are born with and the wall that must be overcome in order for people to live the fullest of lives.

When a person tries something different their focus is on the destination, their energy is concentrated on achieving something good, and this generates an amount of excitement and enthusiasm. When they say goodbye to someone from their existing life, that person holds a certain amount of envy because someone else is being brave and making a change, but also the sadness comes from that person concentrating on the emptiness that will be caused by someone leaving their life, as opposed to the excitement being felt by the leaver.’

Anyway… let us continue with the main plot.

The main nub of this initial prose is to put across to the reader that Mike and Claire were extremely busy in the month between leaving the Isle of Wight and then having to return to the Isle of Wight.

Mike finished work a week before they left, and so Claire was charged with completing most of the early packing, which of course the honourable lady carried out with minimal fuss and efficient delivery. They then both concentrated on the completion of the task in the last week together. To paint a picture that would provide the witness with a sense of scale of the packing mentioned, it could be said that they had enough boxes to build a replica ‘Wall’ that Pink Floyd used in their presentation of ‘The Wall’ when performed live in London when the album was released. They could have built a copy of the Berlin Wall if East Berlin and West Berlin were the size of two Penalty Areas. I think you will have the picture now, needless to say that they filled a big lorry with their contents.

And it is with the lorry appearing that we re-join our intrepid travellers. It was around 3 o’clock when Mike had shouted downstairs, and by six o’clock the removals men, of which there were two, had closed the lorry for the day and made their beds within it. They then spent the night parked outside Mike and Claire’s house, sleeping in relative luxury in some built in beds in the cab.

Mike and Claire’s evening was somewhat different to this. Up until eight o’clock everything was fine, and then Sophie, their daughter, chose to violently vomit all over herself, her toys and her blanket. It would have been just one of those things if the washing machine hadn’t been packed by then, and then throughout the night Mike and Claire were on an all-night vigil as Sophie could not settle and then had a seizure at four o’clock in the morning. They all slept on the living room floor as all of the beds had been packed, and a scene less like Trainspotting had never been seen before.

When the removals men knocked on the door at eight o’clock the next morning, Mike and Claire had slept for roughly two hours each. They then had to muster enough energy to continue to pack the rest of their belongings into the lorry, and also once the lorry had departed, they then had to clean the house from top to bottom in order to leave it in a desirable state for their successors into 439 Manchester Rd. This would have been achieved with less effort if Claire had then not caught the bug that Sophie had, and was then also laid out on some bags in the now empty lounge, in a scene compared to the fateful end of Lord Admiral Nelson.

Through grit and determination, and the help of one Mother-in-Law, they managed to vacate the property by four o’clock and make the long drive down to Southampton, made longer by the lack of sleep and sickness that followed them like the Grim Reaper. As Mike laid his head upon the pillow that evening he reflected on the past 48 hours, and considered that all in all it had been an incredible trial, but one that they had ridden through and now they were surely on the downhill finale.

The foursome had become a five, with a tribal elder joining their party, as they sat on the ferry the next morning. The tribal elder with all of their wisdom and generosity had supplied Mike with a bacon sandwich which he was now tucking into, in this hour of respite before the next onslaught began. For once they were off the boat he knew that they would then have to empty the contents of the lorry, which took them about eight hours to load in the first place.

After collecting the keys from the estate agent and signing the necessary papers, and more importantly paying the first six month’s rent, they then hot footed round to their new abode to remind themselves of exactly what they had done. They weren’t disappointed. The house seemed bigger than they remembered and the sea views were better than they remembered, and this encouraged them to get settled in as quickly as possible so that they could enjoy living there as soon as possible.

All of the boxes and furniture were off loaded in five hours, which was slightly quicker than the time it had taken to get them on in the first place, but the reason for this was the state that they left each of the rooms in. This of course was not the removal men’s fault, but there were boxes piled high everywhere you could see, and the eventual clearing of these boxes took the next week to finally get through.

The exodus from the North was complete. The Isle of Wight was now their home, and a list of endless opportunity waits to be seized. This is being written from an attic room whilst gazing through the window at the English Channel, and watching boats travel to and fro in the background. This is the dream that I’m now living, and it’s now up to us to take as much of it as we want. 

The Exodus (Part 3)

The Holley family endured the next few days of their busman’s holiday much in the same vein that they had survived the first day. They viewed another three houses and ruled out another two houses due them being situated in the completely wrong places, and by the end of this they had finally come to a conclusion. The Victorian-semi that they had viewed on the first day was the choice that they had opted for and they made their way to the estate agents in Newport to sign the necessary paperwork and make it official.

They had heard in the week of another family that were relocating from Jersey, and had proved to be their nemesis on another property, and they were concerned that this could happen again if they didn’t act quickly. So, this was seen to be very much the final act.

“What’s this admin charge for?” asked Mike, dressed in a casual yet smart shirt and jeans combo, the type that he assumed yachters and entrepreneurs would carry off.

“That’s for us to complete any contracts, and file documents, and liaise between yourselves and the landlord etcetera,” replied the estate agent quickly.

“What, £200?”

“Yes, Mr Holley, it’s quite a normal rate.”

“Oh, just seems a little high that’s all,” resigns Mike raising his eyebrows and looking across at his wife, who reciprocates the look with a bit more anger included.

Claire was an estate agent for what seems like about three years, I am sure that the said good lady will confirm that this is incorrect, but for the sake of this journal and my recollection of my past, three years seems about right. Throughout this period Claire would single-handedly dispel any myth that estate agents were money grabbing, lying, vindictive, double faced arseholes, and actually carried through a crusade of honesty, integrity and reason. This was still her assumption of this profession as she ventured in to the house selling and renting process.

This is why every act that an estate agent completed that was against this moral code went like an arrow straight to her conscience. At the beginning this was met by confusion and disorientation, but as the process wore on the arrows seared through her soul, so that every lie crippled her roots and every made up statement was like an earthquake to her foundations. This was just the first of these statements in the next couple of days.

As Mike, Claire and the kids arrived back at the holiday chalet, where they were residing for the week, they were in high spirits and jubilant. Mike even found time to play football outside with Dylan and some neighbouring children. Everyone was having a blast and the scene of family bliss had been restored. This lasted an hour, and like a cloud sailing across the sun on a summer’s day, Claire received an email from the estate agent that was handling the sale of their house in Stockport.

“The absolute wannnnnnnnnnners,” was the first Mike heard of it, as Claire shouted and then supressed a certain swear word.

“What’s up my beautiful princess? What could possibly have spoilt your pleasant mood as we sit in the metaphorical rose garden?” asked Mike curiously.

“That t%@t of a damp specialist has filed his report and stated that the whole house is damp and it’ll cost two grand to sort it out.”

“What?”

“I went round the house with Steve and his damp meter and the only bits were in two alcoves and Steve had quoted a few hundred quid. I never liked that bloke when he came round, he had a shifty look. And he was the one that when asked what it was like, he didn’t tell me because ‘I wasn’t his client’.”

“Right, well, all we have to do is get Steve’s quote and counter it with that. Have we got Steve’s yet?”

“No, but we should. He’s hopeless with getting paperwork in.”

“Let’s tell our estate agent that we’ve got another report that is more realistic before we let the vendors know.”

“Too late, they’ve already sent this to the vendors and now nobhead wants two grand off the price.”

“Well, he’s not having it.”

“Let’s just tell them we’re taking it off the market and see what they do.”

“But, we can’t afford to do that. If we lose this buyer we’ll never get another one in time for when we move, and the amount of money that it’ll cost us if we end up renting ours up north will be worse than just making sure that this sale goes through. Ring the estate agent back and tell him that we’re going to submit another report because we don’t believe this one.”

Half an hour later once Claire’s face had returned to a normal shade for the second time, the new villain was the estate agent rather than the damp specialist. It had turned out that the estate agent was a friend of the damp specialist, and an argument had ensued where Claire’s stance that the damp guy was full of shit had been countered by the estate agent defending an upstanding member of his profession. A conclusion to this was that the estate agent was all for knocking two grand off the price because his motive of shifting our house off his books sooner rather than later was much more attractive than a long drawn out sale where he would actually have to earn his commission by doing something.  Obviously Claire disagreed with this and made sure that he knew that.

As the evening came around all they could do was wait for their builder to send in the report and see how that would influence things. This would unlikely happen until the week after, and so the attention came back on to the present location.

Mike began to look at Rightmove to remind himself of the property that they had just committed to for the next six months of their life. As he was scrolling through the properties in the relevant category, he suddenly noticed a house that he had not seen before. It was exactly in the area that he wanted to be in, with the right number of bedrooms and a bathroom downstairs. After raising his surprise to Claire they then deduced that this had been added today.

What was more surprising to the honest duo was the realisation that the letting agent concerned had confirmed that very day that there were no new properties to view. This conundrum then led to speculation through the night regarding the Machiavellian schemes of the said agents.

The morning brought with it a new day and a new hope. The sun came up to greet them over the wooden chalet balcony as it blasted through the missing balustrade. The warmth met their faces and the confidence surged back in to Mike’s veins.

“Hello, is Sam there?” Mike said as he rang the letting agent that they had committed the next six months to the day before. 

“Sam speaking, can I help?”

“Oh, hi Sam, just want to let you know that we may have possibly found a new property to view this morning, and I just wanted to ask you to put our contract on ice for a few hours, and then I’ll ring you to let you know one way or another. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, that’s absolutely fine, but you will still be liable for the admin charge.”

“What do you mean I’ll still be liable? We left your office at 4:30 yesterday afternoon and it’s now 8:30 the next morning. You can’t have processed anything yet?”

“I’m afraid it’s written in the contract that you are liable for this sum if you pull out of the agreement.”

“Well, that’s fair, isn’t it?” said Mike with the largest amount of sarcasm he could muster.

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, right. Well I’ll ring you later this morning,” and Mike pressed the ‘End Call’ button, disgruntled.

But, not a man that is easily perturbed by one phone call on such a glorious morning, the family all piled into the Holley-mobile and sped off in search of the other letting agent before anyone else could nip in beforehand. The car screeched to a halt outside the office at 8:58am and Claire went up to the door that was locked, and was then kindly opened by an office incumbent.

The next minute Claire was back in the car and the red faced warrior was back. It had turned out that the property had been let already, but they were given the number of the owner of the property next door to the one they had seen. Information had been exchanged that divulged that the two properties had indeed been built by the same person but now one of them was owned by another party. This other party had let his out, whereas the initial owner was still holding on for a sale. It was worth a shot.

Unfortunately, the other property owner still wanted to sell his outright, so he rejected their offer, but was also surprised to hear that the other property had already been let, as the new owner of this property did not know yet. This again led to their suspicions of the letting agent and a conspiracy of an inside job, but surely life was too short for all of this doubt. Claire and Mike agreed that they were better out of this system as early as possible and went back to the original letting agent and confirmed that the Victorian-semi was still the choice of champions, and that they very much still wanted to live there for the next six months of their life, which could actually prove to be their last days.

The Holley-trolley then rolled out into the distance in search of a park and a beach, and a few hours to enjoy as a family before having to get back on the ferry and return to the North of England, for the last time in a long time.

The Exodus (Part 1)

The time has finally come to make all of these plans a reality. I have been discussing, and convincing, and pushing, and waiting, and doubting, and dreaming, of this move for so long that now it’s finally come it just feels natural, and no drama at all.

But it is, really.

In order to make this happen, we needed to:

1. Sell the house
2. Get made redundant
3. Find schools on the IOW
4. Initiate Sophie’s statement process early
5. Review and assess the facilities available on the island (and neighbouring mainland)
6. Keep in constant contact with the schools, as we could not follow the usual application process
7. Apply for schools in the North, just in case
8. Begin plans on how we are exactly going to make money when we get there
9. Find a house to rent on the island
10. Lots more little things

So, it has been kind of a big deal. The hardest part though is always getting your head round it at the beginning, once you’ve done that the rest just falls into place.

Up until now, pretty much everyone I have told has looked at me sceptically. They either doubt that I will actually do it (because that is what most people do), or they doubt that our plans of making money are based on any sense of reality, or that we left it so late that it would be impossible to achieve. Aside from a couple of fellow dreamers, we have been lone voices in this adventure, trying to convince people that we are in fact not mental, but inspired, visionaries instead.

Negative comments that we have heard, are; “You’re going to be stir crazy on that island without the nightlife”, “You’re going to miss your friends”, “You’ll need to get a job when you get there”, “It’s not going to be a holiday”, “People can’t do that in real life”, “Good Luck (said patronisingly), “Money?”, “Loneliness?”, “Money?”, “Loneliness?”, “Money?”, “Loneliness?”, “You’re Crackers!!!!”

Enough of that though because if you listen to that all of the time then you’ll never do anything brave, or different. What’s the alternative to be? Wind the clock on thirty years, we’re in a place that we’ve ended up rather than chose, in jobs that were just a means to an end once upon a time that we ended up too scared to leave, with good friends around us that we will have known for fifty years with the same conversations and the same way of doing things. Just typing that down scares me more than anything else I’ve ever heard. I can’t imagine anything worse than not progressing, not changing who you are, not being free to recreate yourself and grow a new skin. That excites me a lot, especially when I think of all of that opportunity out there.

After the journey so far, and in spite of some of the comments, we have finally reached the part where we actually travelled there to pick a house that, at least for a short while, will become our new home. Once we have the house we can then confirm the schools, which we have also visited to ensure that they are aware of us.

The next few posts are a dramatisation of the fateful four day adventure in which at the end we managed to tick all of the boxes that needed to be ticked.

You Can Always Get What You Want

Another year older and another year wiser... or so they say. It was my birthday yesterday when I reached the forever young figure of 34.

Now, at this point of the year I like to look back at what I was doing a year ago, to see if things have moved in the right direction, or not. This isn't something that I tend to do too much, as I don't believe that there is ever much to be gained from picking over the remains of what has happened. But, once a year it is useful to calibrate where I am.

A year ago, I was desperately trying to leave my job. I had just been moved from one position on the project to another hopeless role, and I was under a huge amount of stress, working late most nights. There didn't seem to be any end in sight, and I was beginning to consider resigning.

Obviously, in the mean time the project had stalled so much that it actually was able to de-scope half of its remit, by the world around it changing at a quicker pace. This then provided me with the opportunity to get out of dodge. I've now received the redundancy that I craved and engineered over the last two years, and this has really set up our new life.

The house was on the market a year ago, and we were just beginning to consider putting it in the auction. It's funny how things happen for a reason. If we'd sold it last year then we would certainly have had to rent for a year up north, and this would have eaten into the bunce. We also would have been very uncertain about how I was going to leave work, and this would have led to a very bumpy ride.

So, it all turns out right again. Don't you find that it always does.

I'm on a roll at the moment, and the events that I've been working towards have all arrived in the timeframe they needed to.

I have no doubt that this is down to knowing what it is that you want and concentrating on them regularly. I never used to know what I wanted. That was the biggest problem that I ever had. They don't give that advice enough when you're growing up. You're allowed to breeze through qualifications aimlessly hoping that something will turn up. There's too much wasted effort going on.

For years I wanted to be in a band, but I wanted money. For years I wanted money, but I didn't want to be an accountant. I followed the Beige Army who would advise you to get your head down and stay in a good company because they'll look after you.

That good company then started making people redundant that didn't want to go. They started changing peoples pension agreements. They started changing things everywhere. This is their right, this is what they must do to exist in the marketplace. But don't tell me that a good company will look after you.

That may sound bitter and unfair given where I am at the moment after just being looked after, but I don't believe that they would have looked after me if I'd not played the system. You have to play the game to get what you can from these people. If I'd have been honest about my intentions two years ago, then they wouldn't have looked after me then.

It's so important to clarify in your own mind what it is that you want. If you don't know where you're going, how on earth are you going to get there. This is the thing that I've learnt this year more than anything else. It affects all aspects of my life, and has made me happier than I've been for years.

I am now so happy that I'm in a position where I can back myself to achieving what I want to achieve. I'm 34 and I'm retiring. I'm now in control of my own ship, and I know exactly where we're heading.

Location:The Ave,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Holes

It feels at the moment like everything is getting very real. The redundancy is sorted now, and I'll be leaving at the end of July. Such a massive focus in my life for the past two years, and now a kind of emptiness before I fill the gap with the next thing.

The survey on the house happened yesterday so we now have to wait for this hurdle to clear out of the way. I guess we'll find out at the beginning of next week about this.

So, now I have to concentrate on what we are moving towards, given that the things that we are moving away from are wrapping up.

We are going down to the Isle of Wight in three weeks time to sort out a rental place to live, and the schools that we are going to enroll the kids in. We already have appointments with the two potential schools for Dylan and Sophie's school, as well. I think we'll end up putting Dylan in Gurnard Primary School, as this will be the area we will live in initially. It's a good school, and it has a swimming pool, which sounds brilliant to me. He'd hate to be out done by Sophie's pool.

We then have to put feelers out to the letting agents in the area, to give us an early indication if any properties are going to come on the market in our time frame. Something will turn up, but I said to Claire the other night that I don't want to live in any old house. The big move would be a big anti-climax if we move in to some hovel. It's got to be semi-decent, at least.

There's a fair bit to think about and arrange over the next month, but the good thing is at work I'm doing next to nothing now. I want to use this time to start writing another book. It's called The Grind, and is going to be a kind of memoir about my eleven years of working in the corporate world. A lot of funny things have happened in my time there and I want to get them down so I don't forget.

Location:Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Watch This

We've finally cracked it. Last week saw the coming of the two biggest milestones that we had to meet, if we wanted to move in August. The confirmation of the pending redundancy was explained last week, and on Friday we agreed a price to sell the house to a keen young couple.

I have a meeting next Monday to finalize the redundancy and agree the package that I'll receive, but that should be relatively academic now that the green light's been shown.

We are obviously restraining the excitement for the house until we have exchanged, which should be quick, as we expressed the desired expedience in the acceptance of the offer. We also pushed to complete in August when we leave, which will mean that we don't have to find somewhere to stay in the interim, to which they have agreed. I'm glad that we suggested this, and doubly glad that they agreed to it.

Now that we've succeeded in getting these two big clinchers out of the way, we can now look forward to the next big ones.

Firstly, we have the small issue of accommodation when we get there in August. We are going to the Isle of Wight at the end of June, to look for a rental property that we can have for three months, starting in August.

But until we know which school Dylan's going to go to, it will be hard to know where to live, as ideally we would live near to the school. So in the same week we will arrange appointments with the four schools that are on the short list. Pick one, and then go get a house.

That should be some week.

I've decided that when we get there I'll take a couple of months off work, so that we can settle in and get the lie of the land. I hope to write quite a bit as well.

I also had an email at the weekend from my first client giving feedback on the big session that we had. She is delighted at how it has changed the way that she thinks, acts, feels about every situation. She feels positive about everything now, and this is a big change, and she has really changed some of her old habits. This really makes me feel good, and spurs me on to generating the same impact in others.

To celebrate the beginning of our new life, and to reward ourselves for the effort that we've put in to get this far, we have bought a lovely watch for me and an eternity ring for Claire. 'An investment' as I said to myself to justify the expense, but I actually think now that it's more than that. It's a convincer to myself that I'm on the right track, and that the future is whatever I want it to be.

I feel so positive now about the journey that I've been on, and the way that it now makes me feel. I am so much happier than before and really excited about the next bit. It really is an adventure, and one that I'm relishing.

Location:Redesmere Dr,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Back of the Net

A fanfare of trumpets are played by angels, who hover over their ethereal thrones, whilst protecting the common man from his fates. The sound that is generated is triumphant and jubilant, and washes over the listener. Never sharpening the listeners attention, but somehow consuming them in an aura of light.

Can you all feel it?

The decision has finally been made by the powers that be, and I've been consigned to a life of freedom. My good behaviour has been rewarded and my sentence has been cut by thirty years.

I received notice of this milestone moment yesterday afternoon, but the details of it are still in question. I have a meeting on 6th June where it will be formally presented, and from there my notice period will begin.

As described previously, the six month notice period that I'm entitled to will be wavered by me in order to receive immediate departure. But my manager yesterday explained that the final end date would be more of my choosing, which will suit perfectly, and I hope to string it out until the end of July.

It is a great feeling to finally have that weight removed from my shoulders, and now the only remaining paving stone to place at the corner of our new life is the house sale. We had an offer yesterday, which we dutifully rejected, and then instead of a counter offer on their part, we had nothing back. So we left it with them over night, and are waiting for their sleepless limbs to pick up the phone this morning and beg for us to take more money. If this does not come, then I think we will capitulate and accept their lower offer for the sake of the big picture, and at least then all certainty will be lined up.

I shall endeavor to let you know as this unravels. It is finally turning up a gear and the nearer it is getting the more exciting it becomes.

Location:The Ave,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

The crowd are on the pitch...

Great progress has been made in the last week, and we are now on the cusp of a great breakthrough. It is imminent and the anticipation is very exciting.

We obviously have nothing in place yet for the big move in August, and although we are remarkably calm regarding this, a little tension has crept in on my part. But I've assured myself with the knowledge that I've done all that I can do.

The last week has seen great movement towards the goal. Things have started to happen on three fronts, and another confidence boost on the fourth.

The Job

Finally the big man has come back from his golf tour of The Conga, and sat down and given his attention to my project. He has now agreed with the principle of canning the second phase of the project, which means that it will not progress any further than this summer. Happy Days.

A great bit of influencing on my part for the last year to try and orchestrate this turn around, and definitely one that I should owe to the power of positive thinking and holding a goal in your mind.

This immediately prompted my manager to write an email to HR explaining my situation, and enquiring what the process should be and asking for advice on what to do.

I await the reply this week, and I have a meeting with him on Thursday to hopefully confirm things.

Splendid. Innnnnnnn... 1. As they would say on Bullseye.

The House

After the odd couple visited last week and went back on their offer, we have now had three viewings from the same couple in four days. They either clearly like the place, or they're slowly robbing us. We are still hoping it is the former.

Yesterday, the last visit, was with their parents and we are assuming that they are contributing in some way to the deposit and wanted to have a quick look themselves. The couple themselves are very much like Claire and I when we bought the place, and I have a good feeling about them.

We are expecting an offer today to come in, and I just hope that it is reasonable. More to follow on this later.

The Change Institute

I saw a client twice last week to carry out a time line therapy session, which concluded on Friday night after a two and a half hour session. This was for money and should lead towards some referrals as well.

I've had some really good results with my first client, and this has spurred me on to get more and more business.

My website is nearly finished now. It is online at the moment but I still want to make additional text and formatting changes before I'm happy to leave it.

The Book

I have had a reply from Martina Cole's agent who has read the first three chapters of the book. Bearing in mind that Martina Cole is the bestselling author in the UK at the moment, this guy should know his onions.

He hand wrote a reply that included, "although I'm not accepting new work at the moment, I very much enjoyed your book. It was like PG Wodehouse. Please persevere in getting an agent. You have talent."

I'll take that. I feel like I'm getting close to landing something soon. It's just a case of getting myself into the right time and the right place. It will happen.


So, all in all, a good week. As well as this stuff, Sophie learnt to stand all by herself and I was backstage at The Charlatans, meeting them and chatting with them. What a week.

The job and the house both await big decisions this week, so I'll let you know here when they do.

Location:Redesmere Dr,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

House

The light burst through the clouds in my last post, opening up a small window to the heavens. There was finally progress found on a dusty path. But now the clouds have closed back in, and to be quite honest with you, it's pissing down again.

The offer was finally agreed on Wednesday last week, and the couple had arranged to come back round on Saturday morning to have a second look.

They were a very strange couple. I don't want to prejudice the reader but they were weird. They were in their fifties, and were the academic types. You know the people that look dirty and woolly, and crumpled, but look very intelligent as well. The types that if they only had a smattering of social technique they could really have been something.

The man was tall, and rangy, like an old marathon runner, and strangely he had earphones in when he arrived at the door, and the woman looked like a librarian.

I think we ruined it when we clobbered her with three superstitions in about twenty seconds. Firstly, Dylan ran around her waving peacock feathers in her face (apparently this is bad luck), then I pushed past her on the stairs to get to the loft ladder, and then finally she walked under the loft ladder to get upstairs.

If there is any truth in these old wives tales then we certainly gave it a thorough test.

So, the clouds came back covering the sun when Monday morning came round.

Strangely, Mr and Mrs Strange made a strange decision by telling a stranger (an estate agent actually) that they still wanted to buy the house but they wanted to drop their offer to that of their original bid. The reason for this was that they would need to replace the kitchen and re-decorate some rooms.

Without getting too house proud, the kitchen is perfectly useable, and anyone that buys any type of dwelling expects to do some sort of re-decoration when they buy just for subjective taste. It is not normal to knock that off the price, not when the price has already been deducted from the asking price anyway.

So we have told them in a Churchill type way to get on their bike, and get out of town. They will either come back today with the original offer and realize how uncivilized they have been, and understand our adherence to principles or they won't. If they don't then we already have another three viewings lined up.

I didn't want to get in to a position of accepting the lower value and then lowering it again in a couple of weeks because they also want to do a loft conversion, and install an aviary in the third bedroom.

Nothing is simple, and in the type of market where you can shake someone's hand and then they can quite happily renege on it, you will always get this type of lily-livered skullduggery.

I'm currently reading Yes Man by Danny Wallace and it is a very positive, inspiring book. It is humorous but a good message I think. It was the one that was made into a film with Jim Carrey. So this is also affecting the way that I'm looking at things at the moment.

Also, I just want to say a public apology to my Nan for forgetting to send her birthday card in time. I've just noticed what date it is and this has made my heart sink. So, to my Nan, "Happy Birthday, I love you and the card will get their soon."

Location:The Ave,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Shift Change

Did anyone else feel anything yesterday?

Was there a tremor or a small shift in the matrix?

Our world moved a little bit as the components of the universe turned and twisted more into our favour. I have always hung true to the belief that all of the factors of our move will happen in accordance with the overall plan, and yesterday there was a definite alignment going on.

The biggest result by a country mile was the offer that we have had on our house. A beautiful, foresighted individual has offered cheekily below the asking price and started the ball rolling. He came round on Saturday to view the house, and is allegedly a cash buyer. The one thing I'm wary about is that he doesn't know why he wants the house but there's something about it he likes. He won't be buying it to live in but to rent out, I guess.

Either I need to have a reality check and reinforce that people like this exist, or he's a gangster and he's desperately trying to rid himself of a bag of money that has been taken from a Securicor van. So I await to hear more to confirm.

We have asked the estate agent to get him to up it a bit more before we will accept the offer, as we have only just reduced it by 5% for the summer sale it's now in. So we are waiting for this to manifest itself into another try on his part.

We have also had another viewing yesterday and another viewing tomorrow. So we may be fortunate and get them into a position where it's a case of, "Who wants it?" - "Show me the money."

The other spanner that we are throwing into the mix is also the timing of the sale. Ideally we don't want to move until we actually have to move in August. So we would like a drawn out sale, this is something else that we need to try on with who ever wants it.

So, from last week when none of the building blocks were in place, it does look desperately close now to a major part coming in.

I have also quelled any concerns that we were beginning to get regarding the schools situation in the Isle of Wight. After speaking with the County Hall (which sounds like it's in Dodge City) they were very helpful. Firstly, they are aware of Sophie's place at Medina House School already, and had been discussing her a few hours before I rang, so this was comforting. They are now going to get in touch with Stockport Council and arrange for the Statement to be transferred to the Isle of Wight and for the necessary preparations to be made even before we have an address.

Also, Dylan's preference school has had 22 applications already, but there are an incredible 38 places left, so this also doesn't seem to be a problem. Again they said that even if we don't have an address until August we can ring the school in July and tell them to expect us.

I completed the therapy pre-framing pack yesterday for The Change Institute, and played a gig in the evening for special needs teenagers with Dale. (Aura2)

All in all, yesterday was a good day, and the dry run which I'm now relying on with work to complete successfully is on track as well.

I definitely felt a shift in my world, and the energy is beginning to be summoned to the call, like an army of gods rising against the underworld. Or something like that...

Location:Chorley Hall Ln,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

A Birdie in the Hand...

"What?" shouted the man in the yellow polo shirt, as he was interrupted mid-swing by his assistant.

They were on the fifteenth hole of an exclusive course in The Congo and the match was tense. Sir Higginglothan was winning by two and had just missed a birdie chance, and this was the time for the CFO of Astrazeneca to make his move.

The sudden interruption by his assistant was intolerable and what was worse was the knowledge that it must be something that requires his attention. Tiger Woods didn't have to put up with this sort of behaviour.

"Sorry, Sir, but you have a phone call, and they say it's urgent," said the assistant dressed in full suit in the blazing Congo sun.

"Very well," and moved his hand to take the awaiting mobile phone.

"Yes," barked the CFO.

"What?" questioned the CFO.

"Which one?"

"Oh, that, yes I remember. What about it?"

"Have you made the necessary checks?"

"Well, stop it quick then man."

"Good bye."

The CFO hands back the phone to his assistant and, after some more tutting, he steadies himself back down to birdie his putt on the fifteenth.

Although I'm sure I've used some poetic license here, this is pretty much the conversation that needs to happen to end the second half of my project. This should have happened last week and instead has been delayed to this week. So I wait in eager anticipation for the decision that will change our lives.

We had a viewing on the house on Saturday, and although this went well, the usual issues arose. Garden too small and no off road parking. So, we have decided to be included in the estate agents Summer Sale. Which basically means a bit more promotion and marketing and a reduced price for a month. It's only 5% and this will be absolutely fine when we shift it. So, we will now begin to give this more of a push, and I'm sure that it will go shortly.

Another Change session tonight to look forward to as well. Some more money in the bank, and some valuable experience for me. I'm going to try and go hi-tech today by using the iPad to hold my necessary information so that I'm not rustling papers and ruining the mood. So I'll see how that goes and assess whether it works or not.

Plus this would not be a true account of my mood and progress towards the move unless I mention the amazing feat of the Galacticos that won through 3-1 winners against Plymouth, thus opening a berth in the Championship for next season. When we move in the summer, there will be Championship football to watch, which compared to League One is almost a dizzying concept. Isn't perspective an interesting thing. The last time we went into the Championship it was a terribly dark day, but now it feels as though the angels of heaven have stood aside and beckoned us through the gates of pearls. COYR.

Also, this weekend I must have said to ten different people what our plans are for the summer, and offered the same weak answers about what we're going to do when we get there. It is all very flakey at the moment but my resolve is still firm, and I'm one hundred percent sure that this will all come off. We just need one decision to be confirmed in order for the ball to start rolling, like in Indiana Jones when the stone ball moves for the first time in three thousand years, this is pretty much the same thing. It will all make sense in the end, I promise, when we get there and achieve everything I've been wittering about, this will be one massive advert for positive thinking and visualisation.

Isn't it interesting how the middle of BELIEVE is LIE. I'm sure there are many things to be said about that, but I can't be bothered to embark on that road in this post. So, I will reinforce instead... BELIEVE.

Location:London Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

The Ten Principles of Happiness

Everybody in the world just needs a little love. It’s time for the world to unite together for just one cause. The Cause of Happiness.


Too many people are miserable, see the bad in everything, have their glass half full at best. These people are dangerous. They suck the life out of the good, and inject their sordid, horrible gospel into peoples’ thoughts instead.


It usually only takes a handful of bad people to ruin an event, or a happening, where as you never see a handful of good people equally turning the tide. One bad apple syndrome.


Rules are often seen to be divisive, a means for a few to control the behaviour of the many. But I believe that we must now return to some straight forward, common sense principles in order to guide us through our lives to the promised land of contentment and, dare I say it, HAPPINESS.


This is not hard, but we are easily dragged along with the momentum of misery that rolls past us every day. Let us stop now, and rise up above this river of drivel, and start to take control of our enjoyment of our lives.


This does not demand that we worship anything, or look to others to tell us what to do, or even rely on others to sort us out. We must walk this path alone, and drive our own way to the gates. Blake once said that, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom”, and if this is the case then lets over-indulge in smiles and love and respect, and make sure that the palace we’re heading towards is the right one.


These simple reminders must be committed to memory and adhered to everyday, even in the face of adversity, to ensure that you stay on the right track. Soon you will become sub-consciously competent, and at this point you’re on the happy plane and it’s being driven on auto-pilot.


The Ten Principles of Happiness


1. Appreciate what you have

2. Love someone and allow yourself to be loved by someone else

3. Help someone

4. Share with people

5. Control the information that you allow into your sub-conscious

6. Beware of negative people

7. Learn something new and explore new places

8. Have a purpose

9. Manage your time effectively

10. Be conscious in the moment


These principles are common sense. Nobody can question the power they have over your mood, and your sense of happiness. Within these principles are sub-points that are also valid and there are also probably more specific behaviours that should be encouraged, but I believe that everything fits within these over-arching ideas.


None of this stuff is new. You can read about it in the ancient scripts of the Egyptians, you can see the learning’s in the Taoist philosophies and the Buddhist readings, in all known organised religions of the modern world and, more importantly, deep down inside of everyone this resonates as the truth.


People have a choice of how much they want to be on the cause side of their lives as opposed the effect side. Are you going to make it happen, or will it happen to you?


Just see things differently, hear things differently, feel things differently and do things differently, and notice the effects of this powerful message.


Done.

And... we're off.

The Change Institute has begun. I performed the first consultation yesterday which has lead to some work over a couple of sessions in the next month with someone I know. Once I've made a positive change to that person's life this should then lead to at least one more referral, and hopefully more.

It was great to just start, and it was really good for me to begin thinking about how exactly I frame these sessions. I will continuously tweak how I go about things until it hits the spot every time but in the shortest amount of time as well. Time, as they say, is money, and the idea is to get as much money as possible in the briefest time.

Certain sessions can be carried out immediately, where as others will mean a consultation first in order to illicit exactly what needs to be worked on.

I need to think about the framing of it in order to provide the professional service both before and after. This is what will differentiate my service, and set it apart from the hacks.

But anyway, it's really forced me to identify different things that I'd not thought about before, and the creativity that can be put in to your own business to carve it into something that you want it to be.

Other than this, I've also been putting some time in to my next book, the real preliminary stuff, characters, plot etc and that's pretty enjoyable really. Although I actually enjoy the writing process, the thinking up front is vital and that really centres around day dreaming and I've always been good at that.

I'm actually on holiday this week, and the sun is out for a change, so I've been enjoying playing with the kids and trying to work around it. It's almost a dry run for when we finally move and the type of lifestyle I'm working towards. The conclusion at the moment is that I could get used to this.

If happiness is about achieving the perfect balance in your life for all of the aspects that make up a full one, then I feel that this week is ticking the right boxes. Also, it's about making it enjoyable as well. I guess I have a tendency sometimes to over think things and pull myself away from living in the moment, but this never leads to contentment, and this week I'm concentrating on the positives of everything, and it's amazing how many other things work out right because of it.

The decision on my future is coming to a head hopefully next wednesday at work, and then once that decision is finally made the ball can start rolling and we can start getting a bit of certainty to our plans. This will make me feel much better about everything and take a lot of the stress away that I'm experiencing.

So, onwards and upwards.

Location:Singleton Rd,Stockport,United Kingdom

All in Good Time

"Come in," bellowed the large voice of the manager, as he pushed himself back into the leather chair that sat behind the mahogany, antique desk.

The office was a shrine to the eighties, it was a shoulder pad made of wood and soft furnishings. Everything on display was there to reinforce the power that the incumbent had over other people's lives. There was a bar along one side stocked with just whisky, a valuable work of art by Rothko hung on the adjacent edifice, and a collection of mounted squirrels finished off the surroundings, squirrels that had been killed by the hands of the powerful man that was sat behind his desk right now.

A blotting pad and an executive metal ball game were the only residents on the wide expanse of leather that was neatly inlaid within the mahogany.

The manager had developed a habit of turning to look out of the window, at the ancient tree outside, when waiting for anybody to walk into his office. This time was no different, and as Mike walked in gingerly, he was unsure whether to sit or stand in the absence of any universal indicator from his host.

He decided to sit down in the chair nearest the desk.

"Sit down," said the manager as he turned from the window, "oh, you have, I see. Well then?"

"You wanted to see me, Sir," replied Mike in a quieter voice than normal.

"Hmmm."

There was a pause while the manager reminded himself of the purpose for this minion infesting his office.

"Yes, yes, yes, I remember now," started the manager with a moment of clarity. "I want to talk with you regarding this bloody business of the project and what it means for you, and your sad little life."

"Thank you, Sir, it would be good to know, Sir," replied Mike now taking on a more Bob Cratchett quality.

"The bloody thing looks as though it'll be canned. I can't say that I agree with that but there you have it. I personally don't see anything wrong with the lack of any real benefit to the customers, we had a similar situation with that bloody thing in Africa, and after twenty years I've heard that they've finally found a use for that bridge.

"It's cost $6m and taken twice as long as originally estimated but what do they want, I believe that we're now making real progress in understanding the purpose of this project. So, anyway, I have to tell you now about the implications that this will hold for you."

Mike sat glued to the chair, waiting in anticipation at the words that were to come from upon a high.

"If it does get binned, and of course there is no guarantee yet, but if it does then you will be displaced and having said that, I would then look to progress your situation as quickly as possible so that you can gain some early assurance of your future. Although the leadership has now changed I hope that they will stick to the game rules that we had before christmas, and this is what I will check for you. But do not go planning anything yet, there is no guarantee that the decision will be to scrap it, that will come in a couple of weeks as the big manager is currently yachting in Spain and after that he is golfing in The Conga. When he can spare ten minutes of his life to thinking about the future of this project, and the seventy people that it affects, he will set to it, and once he sets to it he will get right to the nub of it."

"I hear, Sir, that the indicators are pointing towards the ultimate retreat from this initiative," suggested Mike.

"I wouldn't believe what you hear, young Holley," said the manager stretching back in his chair, and straightening his spine, "My job is to tell you what to hear, and anything else that you hear is not worth hearing. If I had my way people would leave their ears in my top drawer, and I would then return them when I want them to hear. So, remember, no hearing until it is something I want you to hear. You hear?"

"I think so, Sir. Thank you, Sir. I will wait to hear from you about the decision, Sir. When do you think I will hear?"

"You will probably hear some time the week after next, but if you don't hear then don't be despondent, you will hear after that point. One way or another you will bloody hear about this thing when you need to hear. Now, please leave, as I have an important thing to see about."

"Thank you, Sir," said Mike as he rose in his chair and made his way towards the door.

"When you are in my position, young Holley, you will have to see to things. The eyes that you think you have are just eyes to hold the place around the eye area until you get real eyes that will make you see stuff that you haven't seen before. The eye of a potato is the gateway to the sole of a shoe, and remember to see to that. I'll see you soon, young Holley, in a small way I like you."

"Thank you, Sir," replied Mike as he left.

The manager turned to look back out of the window, and decide how he was going to spend the rest of his day. He stood up, and reached for his jacket. He was going to adjourn to the club, where he would discuss the fall of the Yen and the rise of the Tibetan Baht, and plan his pretend fortunes with his one friend, Martin.


(All of this discussion has been based on anecdotal evidence of a situation which partly happened, and was partly invented by an over active imagination that compensates for a dull reality in which normal conversations happen every day. I thank you.)

Location:Chorley Hall Ln,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

All Quiet on the Western Front

I would imagine that there must have been some quiet moments in the Hundred Years War. Although behind the scenes the General's were plotting and scheming and planning the next invasion or battle, on the surface it all looked calm. No-one can invade for one hundred years. Even the greatest invader of all time, Sven Ingamanns, nicknamed Darth Invader, who originated from Aalborg and participated in the Viking invasions from back in the day, only invaded for sixty two years before his axe finally went limp.

But anyway, these are not just lessons from your hero, but an analogy to the present situation that I'm in. I find that the last two weeks have not provided me with any real product to comment about without running the risk of becoming repetitive like one ant that follows another ant.

But I do want you to know that I am safe and well and surviving. I have now finished my website for The Change Institute (although I may still do stuff on it)(http://www.thechangeinstitute.co.uk/), I'm just about to send the next wave of candidates off to Literary Agents, we've had no more viewings on the house, and I'm still waiting for Judgement Day at work.

On the final item, things have moved on to a stage of boiling point, and the politics have really stepped up a gear. I have somehow been involved in the inner sanctum on the decision of either keeping Phase 2 alive or canning it. All of the stars are now pointing towards the ultimate canning of the whole thing, but obviously as this decision carries with it a sensitive political impact, the decision will therefore take twice as long.

However, if this conclusion is reached then it plays perfectly into my hands, and I can then get wheels in motion. The decision isn't expected until the beginning of next week at the earliest, and so sitting tight is the order of the day again.

I have a one-to-one today with my line manager in which I will once again broach the topic and talk through what-if scenarios, given that a conclusion is near. It will be interesting to see what his reaction still is.

It's getting tenser as it gets closer, and I will update here as soon as it comes.

I'm also going to start writing another book. I enjoy the process of writing a book, and I stopped writing the previous book about six months ago. I'll obviously continue with the touting of Plaster Scene but I'll now begin on the next work of art called The Lost Weekend.

I'm excited about the themes and the scope within this book, and I want to spend a significant amount of time planning it out so that I can make the message as meaningful as possible, whilst maintaining the humour.

Location:Chorley Hall Ln,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Websites

I found yesterday that there are a number of initiatives out there at the moment to help small British businesses start up. In the wake of the recession and the ever increasing mass redundancies that seem to stain our perfect British world, the Government has seen fit to help out a little to ensure that people in the UK make their own money from now on because the state are not going to help anymore.

The two websites that I discovered were www.startupbritain.co.uk and www.gbbo.co.uk. The latter provides the opportunity to get a website up and running for free with your choice of .co.uk names (as long as their available) This is exactly what I've been looking for to get my site up and running. The edit functionality is not great, so it will look a little like a website from the mid-90's but at least it's a shop window, even if that window is behind the high street in-between a second-hand bookstore and an adult entertainment shop.

I will launch the website shortly once I have played around with it a bit, and post the address on here.

Location:Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Home Moan

The night before, I'd been shivering in the pub, whilst downing my fourth pint, but when I woke up on Friday morning I knew I was rough. You know that feeling that comes to you straight away when you begin to think of the things that you were meant to do during the day ahead. They were all a write off, no way could I roll into work the way I felt now.

I sunk back in to the pillow and cursed my head and my aching legs for falling apart the way that they had. Was this not the body that you were meant to take for granted, and carried you through your life without any issue or crisis. Pathetic.

Since we've had children running around, picking up bugs, infiltrating other children and generally carrying disease, like rats in the Great Plague, or pigeons in a crowded City Square, we've been picking up these annoying little bugs and viruses.

The gradual onset of day brought with it the realisation that we had to prepare the house for a viewing from some more ditherers. I looked over at Claire, hoping that she would be the valiant white knight that would come riding over the hill and save me, and all I saw was this swollen, reddy, lump lying next to me making an odd noise resemblant of the noise the air makes when let out of a lilo at speed.

Terrific. Together we're going to have to pull through this one and make a show home standard home and take the kids to school etc.

But as champions do, and heroes of the old school do, and pillars of things do, we battled through successfully and reached the eventual result of a super clean home by 4pm. We were helped massively in this success by the nemesis of clean houses being invited to a friends house to play for the afternoon, which gave us a clear run.

At four hourly intervals, the time when we would gather in the kitchen to take our drugs, I would say it was comparable to feeding time in the penguin enclosure, but unfortunately it was more like Sid and Nancy at the Methadone clinic.

We vacated the house in time for the ditherers to make their inspection, as we like to create some sort of suspense. So we never know the appropriateness of the reviewer. Saturday morning, however, readily informed us that the family with three children thought that it was a lovely house but the garden was not big enough. Duhh...

It doesn't have a garden, it has a yard, it is clearly stated everywhere and our inept agents must even know that much about the product they're trying to sell. So, surprise, surprise, another waste of time. I wonder if this is not an elaborate means of someone ensuring that we clean our house within an inch of it's life every week.

What's made the house sale even more exciting now is that next door has decided that he wants to put his on the market as well. Not only does this portray an image of rats leaving a sinking ship and conjuring up illusions of the road going to the dogs, but also the natural factors of his house versus ours.

He lives somewhere in Eastern Europe now and has rented his house for the last five years, mostly to a pleasant, quiet guy in his forties. But the inside of his house unfortunately looks like a cross between one of the honeymoon suites in Auschwitz and Kevin Spacey's room in Seven.

The discerning purchaser would have to spend a considerable amount of money on just making sure that you didn't infect yourself every time you went to the bathroom, let alone the usual home improvements that one would make, cellar for bodies, love swing, human cannonball etc...

The value that has been put on his house is low, 13% less than ours, and given the nervous market currently and the perception of house prices in general, this is not the best news that we could've had. It just gets better and better. (this is sarcastic by the way)

On the positive side though, we could be living next door to Colonel Gadaffi, and that would make it really hard to sell.

Location:London Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Two Million Dollar Baby

What could two million pounds get you? It would be an ideal lottery win, you would have enough to sort loved ones out before taking the rest on a dream life.

I once did a calculation to work out my Financial Independence figure. This was the sum of an appropriate annual salary factored by an appropriate interest rate for however many years you want to earn it, a house, a car, some big holidays, a snooker room, a swimming pool and what ever else you can see yourself achieving before you die. Add all of this up and there is the amount that you need to gather to live that perfect life. Nothing special but control over the rest of your days. My figure came out at 1.3 million.

What about a commercial building project, or two Rickie Lamberts?

The reason I ask this is because the part of the project that I have been working on for the last 18 months has now gone live in Production. The total cost is up near two million.

You wouldn't know that it was there, the business are now using it and this equates to one person who I'm shadowing to make sure he does it right. I won't go into the mind-numbingly boring details about exactly what it does but suffice it to say that it helps to support a new Financial IS System.

I suppose the money is only one aspect of the project but it does help to put context on to it. The project was one twenty-fifth of the total Programme Budget, so this shows how much certain people really care about it.

So, like a big, fat gypsy that has been turfed off of his site, or a hat and scarf combo on the first day of Spring, I'm now redundant in my task. Oh, how I wish I was proclaiming that I was redundant full stop but alas, no.

I'll still be in employment for the time being but my actual responsibilities are massively reduced. I obviously don't want to show too much appetite for anything new, so instead I will bide my time.

The end of this month is the date that I'm still expecting more news on that front, so in the mean time, which is only a couple of weeks, I'll just keep my head down and wait.

Don't forget that the dream ticket is to work on transition work until the end of June and then Va Va Voom.

Just to think that Saints could've bought two more Rickie Lambert's instead.

Location:Arderne Pl,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Choose Life

Why doesn't anyone make decisions like the ones that you see in the movies? For instance, the gangster style bag of money that would be carried around by the expectant buyer and on having all of their boxes ticked on a new purchase, would leave the said bag on the side, saying something like, "It's all there, don't bother counting it," and the vendor would shake his head in disbelief and fear. Job done. Deal. Money in the bank.

Instead in today's climate, heaven forbid anyone to make a decision that was spontaneous. A knee jerk action that maybe one day they would regret, but to hell with it, let's live in the moment. Rock n' Roll.

I'm talking about the house for a change. We had a young couple come round viewing it on Thursday and the reaction from the agent was all very positive. They absolutely loved the house, were blown away by how good it looked (thanks to Claire cleaning it to palace standard) but as they were only at the beginning of their search they wanted to make sure of what else was around.

This may still be good, they will come back to us and plead with us on bended knee to forget their earlier misgivings and sign the dotted line. But, for goodness sake, it's a three bedroom terraced house. What else do they look like? We've got the best example of one in a five mile radius. There's even a blue plaque on the outside explaining that a member of Aura4 once lived there.

My theory, and I will confess that it's not based on much, is that property programmes are killing the house market. Every week the masses watch these brainless, no-hopers try and get a house, and the main reason that they are on the programme is that they've been looking for a house for two years and have been round 350 different houses and they just can't seem to find the right one. We then get taken around the best houses in the Cotswolds and they still don't bloody buy one because the second orchard doesn't have the right pears in it.

This doesn't mean that I think people are holding off for a picture postcard cottage in the mountains, on the beach, near a city, with no one nearby. But I do think that people are aware of the choice more than before, and choice is a bad thing.

If you went into a restaurant that had "Full English - £5" on the window then you would walk in and order the breakfast and enjoy it. When you're presented with the menu you're all of a sudden torn between the traditional breakfast, the eggs benedict, the simple scrambled eggs on toast, or the bacon bap. In your mind you visualise them all, and they're all good but you know that you have to pick one. Then when your Traditional breakfast finally arrives at your table your mind is obsessed with the ones that got away. Instead of enjoying the variety and wholesomeness of the English, you wish that you'd gone for the lightness of the Benedict. A life of misery ensues and you're reminded of your terrible decision in every child's smiling face forever, until finally you die a miserable person eaten away by the decisions that have haunted you. You become a withered, decrepit, grey, ashen, hunched excuse for a person, and then you die. You were thirty five.

So, this is my advice to the unknowing buyer of my house, go with the flow a bit more. Are you happy with all of the elements of my house? Can you see yourself living there happily? Are you content that it won't fall down this year? And can you afford it? If all of this adds up, then don't worry if the grass is greener somewhere else, concentrate on the good things of what's in front of you, and take a risk. That's what life's about. Taking risks and some of them paying off, and the ones that don't are called experience and this makes you take better risks later on.

We shall see what happens with this latest bunch of ditherer's, but it'll turn out right in the end. It always does.

Location:London Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom