The Kings' Speech

Colin Firth won the Oscar last night for his role in The Kings' Speech. His expectations must have been raised gradually by the flurry of awards that he'd won leading up to this moment. He could do nothing more to convince the panel of judges from The Academy, except waiting for the envelope to be opened.

His situation in many ways is like my own, apart from the obvious stand out components of money, fame and being the centre of the world's attention right now. In fact, the only similarity I probably will ever have with Colin Firth is the idea of waiting for something to happen that will greatly influence my life that is out of my hands. And like the Golden Globe that Colin won a month ago for the same role, I have had some more information that hints to a step nearer in my redundancy plans.

The much anticipated 2011/12 plan has now been drafted. In, what Bob Dylan would call a 'Simple twist of fate', I heard the Programme Director having meetings in the office next door to mine, through the walls, that indicated that the presentation had been completed.

I looked through his schedule and noticed that an hour later he would be having the same meeting with an ally of mine. A couple of moves later I found myself at the photocopier printing off a secret copy of the plans, that had not been released. It was very James Bond.

After perusing it's contents, the highlights are as follows:

- There will be a division in the project at the end of June.
- Phase 2, as it is being dubbed, is solely concerned with the delivery of the 'Local' aspect.
- My part of the project, MDM, that goes live at the end of March, is required for support purposes in Phase 2.
- The roles being identified as required from MDM look to be two analyst/SME roles. Which could be me.
- The Programme Director looks certain to be off, by the statement that Phase 2 needs a different type of Project Manager to lead it

So, given that I had this information in the hand, and the additional knowledge that this would be conveyed to Senior Management on Monday, I had to strike on Friday afternoon if I was able to influence my own destiny.

I considered it acceptable to have a discussion with the Programme Director, who I get on with anyway, to make him aware of my own personal plight to see if that would change the way he was thinking.

As a contractor, looking to leave in June, he won't have any axes to grind about me getting a redundancy or not, and he might think that he was doing me a favour by giving me a continued job.

After the discussion, I was glad that I chose that course of action. I was obviously guarded about how I came to know the information that I had, and I didn't divulge everything I knew, but he did clarify one of the aspects.

It is being discussed currently whether the two roles are deployed from IS or Finance. I work in Finance, and so if it is agreed that IS will resource the positions then this means that I will be displaced and a redundancy is possible. So this is good news but I need to wait for the decision to be made, which will be by the end of March.

If the decision is made to the contrary then my other option is to hand in my notice. I have a three month notice period which would take me to the end of June anyway, and hope to negotiate some kind of fair play with the company. This is obviously the worst case scenario but I wouldn't have a choice. The project will definitely go on until the end of March 2012, and without any promise or guarantee of redundancy still on the table, it would just delay our plans too long.

So I must wait once again for another month until the plan, and the resourcing, is decided. In the mean time I will continue to make certain people aware to not do me any favours if they're put on the spot regarding the decision.

So, like Colin Firth, I hope all of this ends in a massive wave of relief, as I finally achieve it.

Some more big news is that today will see my manuscript finally sent off to four Literary Agents. Another exercise in patience must then be observed, as I wait for their return. But a landmark none the less has been reached. More news to follow on this I'm sure.

Location:London Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Chariots of Fire

Throughout time there has always been a dependency on one's mode of transport. Back in Ancient Rome, Caecilius was always whinging about his chariot; then there was the old nag that transported Ethelred from Bosley to York; what about the dodgy wheel on the cart of Master Sidebottom the Butcher; and the back firing monstrosity that used to be run around at the weekends by Cuthbert Digglesbury between the wars.

There's no doubt about it, throughout history there has always been a love - hate relationship with transport. In today's age the car is the preferred choice of champions, and our reliance on such machines is no different.

This brings me round to my particular problem at the moment. A problem in which I know the answer to but it's still not reassuring. My car has been in the garage over the weekend because there's been a fault with the off-side door control motor. Aaahh, yes, the old offside door control motor, I hear you say. That old chestnut!

I didn't know what one of those was either, but I do now, after £600 worth of education. It controls the electrics in the said door, and it took four hours worth of diagnostics to find the problem. Of course, back in the day of horses, it either had a leg or not, there wasn't any need for a diagnostics check.

So the question now is, could this be the beginning of the end for my cherished car? I have had it from a baby, and I've watched it grow up through the years without a hitch. One careful owner, me, and a knowledge of all the nicks and scratches and the story that follows each one.

However, could this be the beginning. Will it start to fall apart now, as it nears car middle age, or will it be a trojan that lives on to a ripe old age of even ten years!!

I'd like to sell it now and not buy another car. Live off one car for the family, bank the money, and get trains etc to get around. When we move to the Isle of Wight the need eventually for two cars will be extravagant, but there may well be a requirement in the early days.

But the reason that I cannot do this is because of Sophie. If I knew that I wouldn't have an over average amount of emergencies to attend then I would take the risk, but because I will always need to get somewhere quickly then I'll always need wheels.

So, once this factor is realised then the other question naturally is, would it be better to get a new second hand car? This is an immediate, no, as I wouldn't know the history of it and it could always be a case of out of the frying pan and into the fire.

There's no other thing for it than to hold on for six months to a year and hope that it holds together.

I wonder how long Caecilus' chariot lasted...

Location:Chapel Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

I Can't Get No... Satisfaction

Frustration, frustration, frustration. That's what I'm talking about. It just seems at the moment that everything that needs to happen is out of my hands, and I can't get a result out of any of it.

I'm aware that this puts me firmly on the Effect side of the equation, the side where people reside when they constantly bemoan the luck they've had, or the lack of opportunity in life, and that they're just a victim of fortune. I know that in order to make things happen in your life you must place yourself on the Cause side, but that takes unerring belief in the course that you have set in motion and patience is required to stay on until the end.

There are two parts at the moment, big parts, that I'm waiting to develop. The first is the sale of the house and the second is a clear promise of redundancy from work.

Both of these have gone on for years and both are integral to moving down to the Isle of Wight and setting up a new life down there. On the house front, at least since we've had it on the market again since the new year we have had a trickle of viewings, each week maybe an average of one speculator. Still no interest but at least we're in the numbers game with that one.

On the subject of redundancy I must sit tight and hold for the decisions of others to manifest. I have influenced as much as I can and I fear that any further influencing will actually count against me. It will look as though I'm trying to fail the project (which of course I am) and this will undoubtedly damage my worth when it comes to the powers that be making a decision.

The situation is rocky at best. let me recap;

- The project is divided into two parts
- the first part is concentrating on Group level systems
- the second part is concentrating on Local systems
- So far the team has concentrated solely on part one.
- the entire project should have ended by the end of 2010 at the latest
- currently the entire implementation will wind up in the middle of 2012
- we are re-locating in August/September 2011
- I need the second part de-scoping from the whole in order to provide a clear division of projects and provide me with an opportunity to be displaced.
- If this does not happen then the best I can hope for is the specific part that I'm involved with finishing by the summer and convincing the leadership that I'm not needed for the duration.
- Both exit strategies will boil down to others being nice to me because legally they don't have to do anything.
- This is the reason why I believe that if I do my part then at least I have more chance of them performing their part fairly.

For all of this to happen I must first wait for the, much anticipated, 2011/12 plan to be released. This is being drafted at the moment and has taken six weeks so far with no obvious conclusion still yet. Once this is out in the public domain, it then gives me license to begin discussions with the necessary people about how my personal plans fit into it.

There has also just been an announcement that the guy on the top of the pile is moving to another job and is being replaced. I don't know yet what impact this could have on my outcome, but it's involved somehow.

I know that what is needed is patience and belief that this will all work out in the appropriate time, and be open to the opportunities as they appear and seize them. The temptation to force things because they're not happening quickly enough is the obvious move, but it's one that will certainly damage things and jeopardise it ever happening at all.

This is a test for me to exhibit in practice the lessons that I've learnt, and to put myself on the Cause side of the equation. The easy route would be to think that I could influence matters that I can't and pour oil on flames. The more measured approach is the one that I'm following but this is not so natural to me at this stage and requires a degree of conscious determination.

The rock that fights against the flowing water never moves and stands proud and strong, but gets nowhere; the twig that moves with the water and accepts the course that is laid in front of him will eventually get to the ocean.

Hmmm... think on. At least if everything else fails I could become a Taoist philosopher.

Location:Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

A Hard Rain's a Gonna Fall

At some points, I find coming into work in the morning is incredibly hard. This morning is one of those mornings. Not only is it cold, well past the time of the year when it should be so bitter, and my car is bust which means that I'm driving the people carrier which means that Claire doesn't have a car today, but also, and the main factor for my melancholy, Sophie has just had a small seizure at home before I left.

When ever this happens the same knot in my stomach appears. It is partly there out of anxiety for Sophie, I hope that she'll be alright when she comes round and doesn't relapse into another, larger episode. But it also situates itself in my gut because it reminds me of the reason why I want to move in the first place.

I can't even take time off work when I'm ill at the moment, in fear that my timelines will slip behind, and the effort that it will take to correct them will wipe out any earlier rest period. One of the initial thoughts that I have when Sophie is poorly is what impact it will have on my job. Talk about perspective!

Remember that this job does not appeal to me at all, that every hour that I spend deploying myself on it's tasks is gradually destroying who I am, bit by bit, that every hour is performed through spite and struggle. For me to care remotely about this occupation while my daughter is genuinely struggling for existence sickens me to the core.

I guess I can't be the only one that has this same inner conflict, and the way that people will look at it is that 'you have to pay the bills' so this is why this has to be held as important in your life. But this is desperately why I'm going to change the way that I look at this necessary element of a life.

I need, because of the situation that I am in, to be able to provide for my family in a flexible way where we make hay when the sun shines but then go indoors when it's pissing down. I need that control in my life that will enable me to concentrate on the actual important thing in my life at every given moment.

This is what this is all about. It's not about moving to the Isle of Wight to be a bum, far from it, I can actually see that moving will mean I actually work harder than I've ever worked before, but the work will hopefully not feel like work, and if it does then it needs to change again. But it's about being able to choose when I do things, not if I do things.

The other big part about moving is the closeness that we will have to our 'emergency network', or our family as it used to be called before the Americanisation of it. This is another vital component to our sanity. The pressure that this situation puts on Claire and I is massive, and I think we deal with it pretty well, but year after year of this sustaining, constant pressure is beginning to wear us down, and talk of support offered from Council organisations and charities goes against my fundamental beliefs in how we should behave. We should be able to care for each other in a family unit, and this is such a huge reason why moving back home is important for us. This goes both ways, obviously, and there will be other challenges that will present themselves that mean that we'll need to be able to give as well as take.

Anyway, it's time I finished up here and went to work, trying very hard not to snap at anyone that even remotely looks at me the wrong way. Here goes...

Location:Alderley Edge,United Kingdom

Agents

I've been busy in the mornings of late finishing my manuscript and identifying Literary Agents to pester to take me on. I wanted to get the first submissions out before the end of January, so I'm late for my self imposed deadline.

I think that a Literary Agent is best for me after researching the various routes into the business. An agent will offer a friendly, supportive figure that will be able to deal with the business of publishing which would be completely alien to me. They work up a relationship with the author and help to develop them into a marketable commodity. They can also pursue the book with other mediums like TV or Film.

I like the idea of having an agent that I can trust and that I can continue to work with for the future as well. Someone that I can bounce ideas off, and who shares a common goal.

It's about being professional as well. To be a novelist, I want to be professional with it. It's not about sitting at home all day dreaming up stories and then writing when I feel like it. I want to be professional and disciplined and stick to deadlines. I also don't want to waste my time writing something that has no marketable value whatsoever. The agent will also secure the best deal with the Publisher, at the end of the day this is there business and it is in their interest to do this. The other important role of the agent is to secure publishing deals overseas, and to arrange translation services etc. I have no problem with giving someone a commission if they are working with me, and for me, to get the best outcome on all of this.

On the morning after Torres has just been sold to Chelsea for £50m, wouldn't it be great to have a similar kind of bidding frenzy for my book between a couple of publishers one day. With an Agent in the middle brokering it, and me at home just waiting for the call to tell me how many noughts there are at the end of the contract.

I hope to have completed my research soon, and then I need to write a specific letter to each application really selling my situation to the individual agency concerned, acknowledging other authors on their books and why their agency is the one for me.

Location:London Rd,Alderley Edge,United Kingdom