As one season moves into the next, it provides one with time to look philosophically at the changes in nature and how these are reflected in my own personal frame of mind.Winter is traditionally a time for keeping your head down and letting the cold storms blow over and with any luck escape without any lasting effects. Expect the usual floods in some areas, and the snow concerns in another, hope your heating keeps working but be prepared for the annual whinge about how much it costs.
Then Spring slowly comes out of its hiding place. It gradually becomes a little bit warmer, and then all of a sudden the sun starts shining and you remember what it feels like to be alive. The same streets that looked depressing and grey a fortnight ago, are now joyous with the hope of spring. The whole of nature comes to the party. The flowers start shooting up, and young animals come out of their winter beds for a first look at the big world.
All of this goes on at this time of the year and so it is no wonder that people also perk up. For me, this year especially, I feel that I have come out of a long hibernation and I am now energised to achieve what ever I want.
This winter has been particularly bad, and without dwelling too much on the negatives, I have compared myself to Rocky in the final round against Apollo Creed. I’m in the corner of the ring and every event is another punch winging its way on to my face. I’ve looked over at the Ref to stop it but he can’t see me through the blood and puffiness. Another trip to the hospital… bang… the worst Christmas I have ever had… bang… Claire’s Grandad dying… bang… Sophie again in hospital… bang… cancelling the New Year plans… bang… guess who in hospital… bang… work being the most stressful it has ever been… bang…
And then the sound of a distant bell can be heard amongst the din of leather on flesh, and the primal screaming from anyone within earshot. Is it the iron bell that they talk about at the end? Then the sun shines through, and you are bathed in light, you can’t feel the pain anymore as it subsides into the experiences that will one day make you richer.
My “bell” (to keep the analogy going) was the news that I had passed my final exam for CIMA. Now to most people this would be quite a routine event and although cause grounds for celebration, you would then continue with your normal life. But for me, this exam had almost taken human form by this stage and was acting as a monstrous devil dancing on my future grave, taunting me with failure. Five years has gone by in the time that it has taken me to pass one exam. It had affected me so much, I knew that the only way that I would win would be to pass it and then close that chapter and move on. Until I had passed it I knew that it would never end.
So the relief of passing this, otherwise quite meaningless, exam is that it has shone a different perspective on my future path. In the short term it has resulted in a pay rise and promotion prospects, but in the long term it has enabled me to once again dream of other avenues in which my destiny lies. Now that I am qualified you would think that I would now put on my battle dress, and march into a corporate career that will achieve outstanding honours and command the utmost respect from all of my minions. But to me it means that I can now concentrate on other opportunities in the time when I am not working.
I plan on writing these blogs more often again, so that I can look back and work out what is happening. When I first started writing these, the revolution was already under way, it has continued changing and now I feel as though I have the energy to continue with it.
Happy Days!
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